Scrolling through Facebook in the past week has left me feeling reminiscent of my life last year. I was decked in a hat that just about fit my big head and in a weird black gown that had a fur collar which was testing in 30 degree weather. Sitting in that auditorium was definitely a highlight moment in my life, not the most favoured day of my life for personal reasons but it served as a surreal moment in my life that this was the pinnacle moment of my academic career. Finally, I had reached completion of my 16 years of education and it all boiled down to this moment.
It was a moment filled with optimism but mostly relief. I had battled with mental health and emotional issues over the span of half a decade that getting to sit in that auditorium no longer having my past issues have a hold of me in the same way filled with much pride. And also the feeling of this brimming excitement there was a whole world out there for me that I was finally free to explore.
This was true. I spent a few months enjoying the bliss of having absolutely nada to do. I could sleep in for as long as I wanted, the most productive thing I did on some days was going for a long walk and it was the first time in about at least 6 years I didn’t have something to do once I got back home. There was no deadlines, no timed pressures, no commitments.
However, it’s been a year filled with many ups and downs but watch my latest YouTube video below to find out all about my journey chasing purpose, the mistakes I’ve made and stepping out in following my own vision:
In my work life, things I’ve been going well! I’ve been out and about at various female empowerment events and personal branding workshops meeting some lovely women. I’ve been growing, learning, building and brainstorming a lot behind the scenes (turns out there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes when you are building a brand that takes a lot of time). It takes time to fully cultivate your vision and figure out what message you want to send out to the world, so I’ve been taking time to develop that to produce content that is authentic for you all.
Before stepping out to really invest in my vision I used to get anxious when it came to networking and really putting myself out there in the fear I would end up chasing numbers and then I’d get wound up in the pressure trying to impress people and things would feel draining than enjoyable. However, I realised the more events I attended, the more self confident I felt because I was inadvertently investing myself and placing myself in environments that made me feel more empowered within myself, I really enjoy meeting and connecting with new people. It’s served myself more than just attending to get my brand name out there and connect like minded young women.
Leaving university and the life I had made for myself and independence I had there was challenging at times, adulthood is a different ball game so I’m happy I’ve found this happy medium that I feel enriched in my daily life doing what I love.
It opened my eyes to the fact – I may have originally felt I was just starting this website up to write about something I’m passionate about but it was more about pouring my heart into something that made me love myself more an was a form of practicing self love towards myself. It’s also helping me get reconnected back to the artist within myself. Writing is definitely an art form, and being a digital media creative is an art form – I think studying journalism as a degree somehow made me forget that. Or I had this intense self doubt of even calling myself a creative (which is pretty ridiculous looking back) but I take everything now as if I’m an artist and visionary since that’s where I feel the most authentic. I’ve always felt growing up that I felt the happiest when I was immersed in something creative that I’m in my own world and when I’m creating content that connects with people.
Also, stay tuned to an exciting new addition to Espire21 coming soon that’ll be announced soon!