During my second year of university I encountered my breakthrough year.
For years up until that year I had battled so many self esteem issues and years of self hating due to the hardships of life I’d faced. It was a messy, hard, difficult time (healing is not for the weak). But it allowed me to come into my own skin as I began to learn fully the trauma that was holding me back for so many years. When you go back and learn what caused and influenced the darkness in your life, you release yourself from it – once and for all.
So with my newfound confidence, I began to flourish in my style. I would go for more daring hairstyles that vibed with me – I had ombre red weave, platinum blonde braids, an ombre blonde bob, I got a nose piercing stud and I got another tattoo that allowed me to unapologetically wear my most meaningful heart on my sleeve. And the funny thing was it wasn’t like the world changed that everyone became more accepting of me and I finally fit in. The real shift took place in my mind once I realised that I didn’t need the opinions of others to hold me back, they no longer had control over me and I finally felt… free.
It’s easy to go through life and constantly chase acceptance. You dim your light down a bit, you confine yourself to fit in that box, you try to convince yourself that you need to be more of what others want you to be. What you fail to notice over time is that you’ve lost your light, you’ve lost the vivid colours that flare so freely when you’re a child in your innocent bliss and you’ve given into the world’s pressures of who you ought to be.
We’ve all been there. Here’s the thing, we’re all victims of feeling like we have to minimise ourselves to fit in. And we think the more we fit in, the less people’s opinions we’ll have to worry about We think it’ll make our lives easier, it’ll get us the access and acceptance that we crave. *INCORRECT ANSWER BUZZER NOISE* That couldn’t be further from the truth. People will always have an opinion and there will inevitably be someone out there that doesn’t like you and think you should be some way else.
What i know to be true is that hiding your light doesn’t grant you any favours. You feel stifled and feel a ricochet of internal conflict that leaves you feeling restless inside.
You’re you for a reason, you’re meant to shine as who you are for a reason and not everyone’s going to get that. And guess what? That’s okay!
Not everyone likes the colour blue, but some people fricking love the colour blue and plaster it all over their walls and refuse to buy their toothbrush in any other colour. So, keep doing you.
There’s a reason aligned to your purpose that you’re meant to stand out and one day you’ll find it. When you are yourself and true to yourself, that rings true to the very essence of your soul. And that’s all you need to be. You could have the very spark that this world needs when you shine vibrantly in all that you are.