Last weekend I had a clear out of my old bookmarks on my internet browser. For some reason my old bookmarks stayed on my Google login so when I got my new laptop they all reappeared.
I took a walk down memory lane as I saw bookmarks of old TV shows I would watch, my wish lists for dresses I wanted to buy for prom and university room decor. Alongside websites of career advice, A-Level revision, UCAS course pages and personal statement advice tips. All these things that would stress me out beyond belief and felt like the be all and end all. Then there were pages of lifestyles blogs I used to follow as a teenager that I would spend ages comparing my own to so I ended up having to bookmark a few and unfollow them on Tumblr so I wouldn’t compare myself too much. At the time, these blogs seemed so important and now most of them were defunct. People grew up and changed so their passions changed, and it served as an important reminder of how things are temporary.
It doesn’t feel like it all when you’re in the moment. You feel as if it’s all that matters. But in reality, it really doesn’t.
Now, to help keep things in perspective and keep my mind anxiety free (well, anxiety reduced!) I like to imagine things are like a movie. I envision myself as someone I would like to be if I was the lead in my own movie. And that helps bring me back to realising I’m a young twenty-something who is figuring it out in the beginning part of the movie. There’s so much free fall. There’s a whole adventure ahead of me. Or to flip the script a bit, you can see things as you’re only in the ‘Early Beginnings’ section of your Wikipedia page.
You’re still carving out your path. You’re not meant to have it all figured out and to be perfectly thriving right now. Hun, you’re meant to be making connections and just trying things out to see what works or be in the process of building something. And you can take as many stumble-y starts as you need!
You’re still entitled to that free childhood spirit you once had to simply enjoy the present, nothing’s changed. You just decided to adopt a different, more stress-filled mindset. Perhaps your circumstances have changed and you’ve got more responsibilities – but you’re still susceptible to the fact anything can change just as much when you were a kid.
You are not meant to have it all figured out, this is all part of the journey
It can be tough to keep things in perspective. Especially when you are in the moment and you’re focused on where you’re heading.
But, breathe for a bit. You have time. You have time to take to not know what you want to do and to have a think about what you want out of life. You have time to find that right person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You have time to take a little longer to feel a bit more self confident within yourself before you become the person you want to be.
Here’s a fact of life for you: this is just a moment in time and your circumstances right now won’t stay like this. Right now is a simple, fleeting moment that is inevitable as all your other moments in however many years you’ve been living on this planet.
You won’t feel the way you feel forever, your surroundings and emotions won’t stay the same forever unless you decide they will. Life will always keep flowing, so you may as well float on your back and accept the movement of the tide. The world will change just as much as you will change. You don’t know what the future you or anyone is going to be like, so stop stressing about it. And the thing is, absolutely nobody knows! That hotshot girl in your seminar class who has all her shit together with her grades and 5 internships she’s done, who seems to have the perfect Instagram feed with her avocado toast brunches and globetrotting shots has no idea what tomorrow holds no matter how her life may seem perfect.
Everyone is in the same boat with the fact that things will always be changing, so you might as well stop sweating the small stuff and just enjoy your journey. That’s perfectly timed out to plan out exactly like it should.
Espire21 