You can’t give what you don’t have
This saying counts for a lot of things. It counts for giving to charity, your generous heart wants to donate money to the homeless… yet you hardly have enough to cover your weekly grocery shop/
It counts for relationships – wanting to leap back into the dating pool when you haven’t even fully resuscitated from previous heartbreak.
It even counts for make up. You can’t have a flawless face 24/7 when you don’t have a good, quality setting powder and a bomb ass setting spray.
I think you see where I’m getting at here.
Recently in my life, I decided to unplug from everything that I genuinely wanted to pour my heart into but felt depleted in my soul. I wanted to scale back and just do what made me feel good so I could come back feeling refreshed and energised.
It definitely triggered a slight sense of panic of feeling like I’d given up or neglectful. But, I realised two things.
- Taking time that you need for yourself is never time unwisely invested – I took a moment to see things from an alternate perspective to which my thoughts stumbled on Demi Lovato. The Grammy nominated songstress overdosed on opiods almost a year ago and had been relatively silent careerwise. No interviews, no new release of music, deleted her Twitter account and had been living a relatively low profile away from the public spotlight with only Instagram giving fans a glimpse into her life. Did I think she was a failure because she hadn’t done anything noticeable career wise for a year? No. Because taking the time out to heal and fill your soul with what makes you feel good and prioritising that is never a bad thing. It’s never a waste of time. Serving yourself is the most empowering thing you can do, it’s not juggling 10 things at once to look and hopefully feel ‘productive’ when in fact, you feel disconnected.
- The best things happen organically – Organisation is a great thing. It’s more than a fact that if we didn’t have organised systems, the world would combust. But, when it comes to things that flow from your heart they needed to happen organically. When they’re unfiltered and unplanned yet solely heart driven that’s where the magic lies and where things feel truly rewarding.
So what did I do to achieve this?
It all started with an impromptu decision to book a trip to travel across South East Asia on my ones. Which then became a catalyst to working to become healthier which meant placing a spotlight on filling my body with healthier foods and getting to the gym after work 4-5 times a week. My attention now was solely on myself and feeling good – whatever that looked like. I also recently started a new job at SoulCycle’s first London branch which means free rides which has become the highlights of my week. This with gaining a new experience of working in an indoor cycling studio of a brand I’ve admired from far away in the confines on my laptop screen watching Stateside vloggers rave about the cycling class with it definitely being a luxury fitness staple. Being surrounded by good people and good energy and then being part of it is always good. The brand is always about connection, how are souls connect to each other and coming together for something positive and personally rewarding.
Recent experiences I’ve had in life have opened my eyes to change the direction of where it’s heading. Which in turn has invited feelings in of apprehension, fear and indecisiveness until I realised
“Is it changing who I am and ruining the plan or is it myself realising that there is more to what I thought was possible for me to have back then?”
You only know as far as you know. I thought for a long time sticking to the plan was how to stay safe when in reality. But the truth at the end of the day is it’s okay to change what you want out of life, you’ve discovered there’s all these amazing new possibilities of what you can have out of life. Don’t plan too much, instead grab it with both hands and jump. There’s nothing holding you back.
One crucial thing I’m doing in my life is stopping myself whenever dilemmas come up in my mind “What do I truly want?” For me, I can feel like to prioritise doing the right thing means ignoring what I want when actually it could be the very thing most of the time I should do. It’s so important to hone in to what will serve you to be the best version of yourself and the happiest. It’s not being selfish, it’s your basic human right.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with a former colleague of mine (who actually partly inspired my travels) who was so comfortable in her skin and radiated confidence from the minute I met her when she first started at my old workplace.
I was letting her know how much she inspired me to which she said “I am just trying to do what makes me happy. For a long time when I was younger, I was trying to do things that made others happy and I am glad I have changed that habit. I am so happy that you are going to get to travel next year, I’m super excited for you.”
On a final note, I’ll leave you with an original quote “The most caring person towards you that you’ll ever know should always be yourself.”