I’m the kind of person who struggles with compliments. It’s not the fact I think people aren’t being honest. It’s just something in my being doesn’t buy into the fact that someone truly means what they’re saying.
And I get caught in this unhealthy cycle of naturally craving people to think positively of myself, getting that affirmation from others then completely psyching myself out that people are only saying it because they want to be perceived as good people than telling the truth.
Then I came to a sharp realisation that I needed to be my most loving force. I needed to be my own mentality therapist. I needed to be stricter and sharper with what I needed in the most fully loving voice than wait for someone to tell me what to do.
So I started off like this:
“Tasha, I need you to be the most affirming voice towards yourself. That doesn’t involve waiting on the world to speak positively to you in order for you to take it as fact”
How many times do we do this to ourselves? Want to believe we’re beautiful, funny, smart, talented enough and are craving the world to affirm that we are these things before we can take them on board as factual descriptions of ourselves.
Here’s to a new mentality that will be declaring what I need in an authoritative voice because I truly am the captain of my own ship.
I need space to breathe. I have now decided that all I need to really be ‘enough’ is to just look after myself. Remove myself from the self deprecating world of expectations and goals and milestones because they don’t motivate me but they cause myself to feel under a overwhelming amount of pressure which leads to feelings of inadequacy. Ive entered a new era of my life that is “All I really want you to do is do whatever makes your soul feel good and looked after. I don’t care about your 30 before 30 list, let that take care of itself.” Because once you work hard to look after yourself and focus on doing what’s best for you that’s when you can effortlessly deliver from what’s meant for you.
Espire21 